Friday, July 31, 2009

Another shlock of shit.

This is retarded.

NY Times is schlocking another horseshit story about the popularity and ruining of Montauk.

Read this barf here.

Celebrities are being invited to store their boards at the club, where the staff members will keep them in slots marked by name placards. Already there are dedicated pegs for “Jimmy Buffet,’’ “Karen Lauder’’ and Jon Bon Jovi’s son “Jesse Bongiovi” (though, as of this week, those slots remained empty).

Dear and Yonder

Made it out to the Mollusk premiere of Dear and Yonder. I expected to trip upon a crowd of 50 at most, as in every premiere past, instead the street was packed to the bone with mucho peeps. All the usual faces were peppered throughout the crowd filled in with many new heads that came for the Paper Magazine and Roxy sponsorship of the event. I didn't get to sit and delve to far into the flick with my main concern of scoring a pink bracelet to get a free-flow of liquid gold. Acquired, the rest of the night ended up with multiple visits to the beer line.

Go to Endless Bummer, Toddy posted a lil movie bout the night.

All in all, it was a fun night there.

Dans Paper Cover

Cover by Michael Paraskevas

I was only 9 I think, my first footstep into the nude beach. When you walked west along the crashing shore, following the footsteps of all those with boards clenched under their arms, the crowds bathing suits starts lessening. My mother would bring us to the break that was than known as "Bagels" to watch over my brother and I as we bodyboarded 5 to 6 hours straight every chance we got. She sat there engulfed in a ring of nudity, eyes peeled on her two sons, afloat among 2 footers to hurricane swell. The sandbar showed up year after year among the nudies. The nudist community is forced to mix wih these sandbar chasers. Its startling when you are out among the outer-break line-up, and a fully bronzed muscle man floats by on a bodyboard wearing nothing. Two cheeks surfacing like sperm whales. One-upping us clothed ones with use of rudder.

I remember Dave Mims of Autumn Skateshop flying a kite, we must've been 16, and one such Bronzeman, as we coined the fully tanned nudies, yell over to us while stroking his hardened piece, "Don't just stare...Join the show"

And that asshole up there on the cover, I hope he never joins my show.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Effing Bluefish bite?

Surfers were attacked.

"At least two surfers near Sagg Main Beach in Sagaponack were taken to Southampton Hospital on Friday afternoon with severe bites to their feet, and several other people in the water suffered less serious bites to their feet and hands from bluefish that were feeding on a large school of baitfish pushed toward shore by storms."

Read the rest of the article.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sunday fog on the beach

By the house it was clear but as you passed over the Smith Point Bridge the air became heavier and shrouded in fine liquid pellets carried among the intense heat.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Open letter to a friend...

Dear Pee Pee Ticket Maker,
I am over-joyed with the relieving of yourself that you did Monday morning into the LIRR ticket machine. I was on step 3 to my Monday morning routine of returning to the city so I can partake in the workforce. I just got dropped off by my mother so I can board the 7:37 to Penn Station. I was a few minutes on the late side so I was rushing just a bit. In this forward moving fury I ran over to the ticket machine to make the purchase. I slid my debit card into the slot, typed a few numbers, looked down to notice a dollar coin on the floor, waited through the "printing tickets" message on the foggy screen than stuck my hand down in the ticket trough. But instead of pulling dry tickets and a dry hand out my hand was coated. Coated in a liquid, warm to the touch, filling the four inches of depth. The tickets were floating, all $34.50 worth in your beautiful urine. I want to take this time to thank you for letting me and many others who were already so happy that it was Monday morning get this hand bath. I want to thank you for making me smile till I got to a bathroom to soap off your waste. You are a prize to this earth and the world needs to stop and look to the skies and thank the lord that you are equipped with that fleshy instrument between your legs just so you can inject it into a LIRR ticket machine ticket trough. I sit here at work a day later after recollection and think about you, pants half-massed, waist pushed against the machine, filling 'er up for my enjoyment. Its fantastic.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The skin of Mr. Mastastico

Mr. Mastastico has some beautiful work covering his back and amazingly buff chest. Here's his back I grabbed while he was naked in Smitty's parking lot.

Dinner at Toddy's in Mastic Beach

Saturday cruised through Toddy from Endless Bummer's house for an evening dinner party. Hinging on the mexican theme, the food was dope. Great conversation with a whole group of new friends who are all week-ending in Mastic. I am excited to know there is a household local that includes interesting people rolling through.

Here's some shottys from the night.

A close to another weekend.

It was another great one. A sizeable swell graced a morning sesh with Toddy and Thad. Fun stuff.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


Today, on this Friday eve, I am looking through forecast's containing sun and water. I keep jumping back to Hiroshi Sugimoto's images to build the anticipation even more so.

Watch Out!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

From Endless Bummer

The other day I met up with Toddy out among the shitty mushie swell at Smith Point. As I was walking back to the car, Toddy was armed with a fine machine. A Hasselblad. And here is the results, and I especially love the loupe stylee.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Camping...doing it right

Photo: Nicole Orlando

A few friends of mine were up in the Catskills a couple weeks ago. I always regret not going after the fact because of photos like this. I was moseying the shores of Mastic while they were rolling KEGS into the woods. This KEG made it via my good friend Nicole of THE HABITAT, she grew up with me in the mean streets of Mastic. She spent a night alone with this guy awaiting the arrival of all the other friends. It's a mirage to see this after a long days hike, only this turned to something tangible.

July 11th and 12th

Surfed a bit. Met up with Toddy of ENDLESS BUMMER for a messy morning sesh. Did a lot of house chilling. A few friends from the city rented rooms, Scrabbled late night. A surfcaster threw in right where everyone was surfing of course. Sunday evening surfed in skins. Perfect.

That there clock...I bought in Sarajevo, its from a bombed out home from The Balkan War.

A friends dope surf mobile.

When I see this I get giddy. I need something of this sort. I've also been thinking of getting a moped with surf racks.

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Haruki Murakami. I love him. Can't wait till 1Q84 is translated to English.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Anna Wintour expanded her Mastic Crib

Anna lives in one-a-the most beautiful parts of Mastic. Its known as Old Mastic. It upholds its woodsy LI feel when this area was carpeted in estates of a richer city-folk. Anna hit up a little upgrade a few months ago. I wish others would follow this fashion icon and start bettering their places. The car on the lawn is pretty sweet though.

I wanna see Anna's spot in person.

Those islands out there in The Twin Ponds

I use Barnes Road often to leave Mastic. Its a road that has maintained the country feel that I believe most of the Mastic Peninsula probably once wore. Its winding with not too much construction. At its start, it has two ponds straddling each corner like two ballies straddling a shaft. Lately, as I drive by I noticed two islands out there, now I have found who is responsible.

Fireworks and Mastic

Photo Jay Rooney

It seems almost that fireworks are legal in Mastic. They are everywhere. No need to gander at Grucci's display. Just walk the streets in the Mastic's and there will be plenty of show going on around you. The recession-proof hobby of a pyromaniac.

...and she burns...

Here is the aftermath of tiki-torch fluid to the crotch area and being packed with a load of firecrackers.

The campfire

Photo Jay Rooney

I love sitting by this bitch. Every Saturday night it be ripping with faces from all over the world sitting at its side.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Whoa! The town actually did something!

Newsday photo

Of course there has to be a detail that would make you say "WHAT" otherwise it wouldn't be in true Mastic nature.

The son had to threaten the father with a hammer. And what the hell is someone collecting so much garbage for. I hear of this in the city happening in the past, Mastic today mimics many of the cities past problems.

Monday, July 6, 2009

City dudes on sand

Pic 1- Erica Recto, fashion designer for a lot of cloth you sheath your body in.
Pic 2- Jim Kim Miyagi, Art Dealer of Fine Art.

The Burning

A friend of mine always brings a friend that we sacrifice to independence on The Fourth. This year Hillary went up in flames. Now this is not a political statement. Its just that Bush's head was 25$ and Hill's was only 20$.

Prior to nightfall here, you see custom made jeans and Velour Dior top.

Forge River and Smith Point at Sunrise

Friday before the crowd from the city arrived I had a day of quiet in Mastic. Went down to the river with some coffee to see the tranquility. Hopped in car to hit a dawny session at 6am down at Smith Point. Was some amazing lighting show going down. They even brought the smoke machines.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Fourth in Mastic

I've done it all for the Fourth. When skateboarding succumbed most of my time, I always went to Philli, skated, drank alot and watched the firework show at the Art Museum. I did the Brooklyn rooftop party, I went to Summerstage to see Sonic Youth and was a peice of the family party population on numerous occassions. No celebration matches the excitement and rawness the holiday takes on in the streets of Mastic. Theres a lawlessness that most other places has lost. Smoke sheathes the streets and it seems like everyone has recieved "THE LIST". I grew up with THE LIST as a staple piece of 4th ettiquette. In the weeks leading to that special celebration, a photocopied-a-million-times sheet shows up in your mailbox. On it lyes some of the finest firework names. You circle and than get THE LIST back to your source. The explosives show up. Mastic turns to a complete warzone during the Fourth. I watched from Fire Island, looking back at the mainland where Mastic/Shirley juts out into The Great South bay and watched the greatest firework show ever. It was a poormans paradise in flames and sporatic performance as far as the eye can see. Mastic knows how to do The Fourth of July. Be careful out there.

Lets burn some shit.

Hope I stumble upon something like this again.

Last year I stopped over a friends house where I caught word down at the beach that there was going to be a pigroast. A few of us went and devoured pig parts. I found this on the information super highway, a photo of the pig post-pieces.

Check out Grocery Guys blog for some good stomach pleasing reads.