Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Open letter to a friend...

Dear Pee Pee Ticket Maker,
I am over-joyed with the relieving of yourself that you did Monday morning into the LIRR ticket machine. I was on step 3 to my Monday morning routine of returning to the city so I can partake in the workforce. I just got dropped off by my mother so I can board the 7:37 to Penn Station. I was a few minutes on the late side so I was rushing just a bit. In this forward moving fury I ran over to the ticket machine to make the purchase. I slid my debit card into the slot, typed a few numbers, looked down to notice a dollar coin on the floor, waited through the "printing tickets" message on the foggy screen than stuck my hand down in the ticket trough. But instead of pulling dry tickets and a dry hand out my hand was coated. Coated in a liquid, warm to the touch, filling the four inches of depth. The tickets were floating, all $34.50 worth in your beautiful urine. I want to take this time to thank you for letting me and many others who were already so happy that it was Monday morning get this hand bath. I want to thank you for making me smile till I got to a bathroom to soap off your waste. You are a prize to this earth and the world needs to stop and look to the skies and thank the lord that you are equipped with that fleshy instrument between your legs just so you can inject it into a LIRR ticket machine ticket trough. I sit here at work a day later after recollection and think about you, pants half-massed, waist pushed against the machine, filling 'er up for my enjoyment. Its fantastic.


Editor said...

Screw you man, I HAD TO GO!

Scott said...

so funny, made me laugh. have fun out in mastic this weekend! we're up in vt doing a misty mountain hop. ;o)